Sorry for all the anti-Twilight stuff, but Twilight (no surprise) really ticks me off. And here are some reasons why!
- Bella does not get eaten.
- Bella makes 165 references to Edward's beauty.
- Edward's breath apparently smells good- like, what?
- Bella's heart literally stops when Edwards kisses her.
- Everyone loves the books, even though the ONLY ONE that I like is New Moon because a) it's the only one that has a plot that actually makes sense and b) Edward isn't there to make me barf with his breath.
- THE VAMPIRES SPARKLE. That is really, really... creepy. Unnatural. Guaranteed to drive me insane.
- Edward can't read Bella's mind. I'd like to see his face when he finds out how many times she refers to him as godlike or thinks about his "perfectness."
- Bella loves kissing Edward, even though I can find zero ways that kissing a rock would be at all attractive. Even if i was a very good-looking rock.
- When Bella kisses Edward in Breaking Dawn, she literally tastes his lips. Ew.
- Bella does not get flattened by a car!
- Edward watches Bella sleep every night. OMG stalker!!! :P
- Edward has nothing better to do in his immortal life than enroll in high school.
- There are sadly more fangirls than Twilight haters.
- The books are well written, but the story is just BLEGH.
- The plot actually arrives on page 372 out of 498. That's just sad.
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