At the website www.catsthatthrowupgrass.com, you can view some signs to tell if your cat is trying to kill you. I made up my own signs (most of them are taken from or based on ones from the website).
1) Sleeping on electronics. Cats probably have higher technology than us. Their printers and computers probably talk to them. Cats are trying to see if they can get your electronics to tell them what you print out, what websites you visit, and so on, so that they can discover your strengths and weaknesses.
2) Narrowing eyes while purring. This has "evil" written all over it.
3) Kneading you with paws. Cats aren't very good at making people bleed internally. However, this will not stop them from trying.
4) Throwing up grass. Humans are probably not very tasty creatures. Cats throw up grass to show that they can eat anything (including humans) and then can throw it back up and kick dirt over it.
5) Bringing you dead animals. It's not a gift. It's a warning.
If you want to find better examples, visit www.catsthatthrowupgrass.com
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